|RL Date: 22 July, 2016|
|Involves: High Reaches Weyr|
|What: Edyis contemplates the mess she has found herself in.|
|Where: Southern Contenenent|
|When: Day 28, Month 4, Turn 41 (Interval 10)|
|Mentions: A'rist/Mentions, T'zur/Mentions, Jocelyn/Mentions, N'rek/Mentions, Lys/Mentions|
Black. Blacker. Blackest.
The icy nothing of between gave way to heat and humidity so intense it was like trying to breathe through wet velvet. Akluseth's warmth felt solid beneath her as they spiraled down to the clearing. Edyis ran her fingers against the supple leather of his straps as the Brown landed.
« I want to get back to Aidavanth. »
Edyis ignored the request as she dropped to the ground, moss squelching beneath her boots. It was getting more and more difficult to convince her lifemate to slip away from the weyr. Ever the loving mate, Akluseth didn't pry himself from Aidavanth's side unless necessary or dismissed. It was hard to ignore the mental smugness that had yet to fade.
He never pretended that it made up for the child Edyis herself would never have, but it eased the pain of that loss. Perhaps because Akluseth considered them as much Edyis's as his own? Perhaps that was part of the answer, but it always felt like there was more to it than that. The idea of leaving something behind.
Faranth I'm not old enough to be worried about leaving a legacy behind. She thought.
There was no reply.
She hacked through the brush, it took the better part of an hour to find the spot she was looking for. Flowers carpeted the clearing in every direction. The work was automatic and gave her time to think, not that her mind ever truly stopped. It was her curse to question and speculate.
Aidavanth's flight had changed things. To what extent, Edyis herself couldn't begin to guess.
Tuzur's appearance had been a surprise. T'zur She corrected herself mentally. The arrogant ass from the flight hardly seemed to be the same teenager who had been stuck with the task of training (he called it babysitting) her during her time with the Beowins. She made a mental note as she unhooked the basket to at least catch up with him. Though she doubted that he would remember her.
Her knife arced through the air, cutting through a fat stem. She pressed the bloom to her nose inhaling deeply. It was purple and reminded Edyis of the dark circles she had seen beneath Jocelyn's eyes. She bit her lip.
It isn't your duty to mend a broken heart, arrogant and foolish to even try.
The flower was added to the basket as she moved on to the next. How many regrets did she have now, how many mistakes had she made, and how much more would Edyis make when it came to relationships? She thought of her first crush, on a boy who believed for a time he was rescuing her - but she didn't have the courage at the time to face what his dragon turned him into. Edyis had always been ashamed of that, and sometimes she wondered if he could still smile the way he did when they ate fruit on a plateau in the south. She thought of N'rek and all the things she had been too afraid of admitting to him. They were friends still, but she doubted it would ever be more than that again. She couldn't blame him for not trusting her.
Whatever the outcome, Edyis didn't want Jocelyn to have the same regrets. She was angry with Lys because it was plain that the greenrider really did care for, perhaps even loved Jocelyn. Yet the way Lys had asked that question, sounded too much like tying up loose ends. Edyis had never understood her, and at the time didn't want to get sucked into the role of dealing with the woman's confidence issues. Maybe if she had handled Lys differently, and hadn't let her own biases against the woman impact her actions.
Edyis shook her head. It was too late now to worry about it. It wasn't her duty to look after every damaged person she met. Not that the thought eased her guilt any.
She gathered more blooms until the basket could hold no more.
It wasn't her place to interfere in their relationship or offer unsolicited advice. She didn't want to be a stand in for someone else either. All she could do was try to be there for Jocelyn.
Black. Blacker. Blackest.
The southern blooms in all their glory were left on Aidavanth's ledge.